The other person may hear the same statement as exasperation with them or a minimizing of the ways you’ve hurt them. Instead, try to reference specific times when you hurt the other person and/or let them down. Being specific also makes the amends that you offer more achievable. You may not be able to rectify “everything” you’ve done to the other person, but you can repair specific wrongs. In sum, when recovering alcoholics reach step nine, they are completely connected to their Higher Power.
Our Script and Guide to Making Amends in AA and NA
It not only launched the small-group movement but also the self-help movement, both of which rely on the ability of the afflicted to heal themselves better than professionals. That struck a blow not only to health professionals but also to clergy. In fact, many religion observers, including author Phyllis Tickle, believe the founding of AA–more than anything else–was responsible for much of the massive change in religion in the 20th century. Try not to worry whether someone’s still alive or has passed away or if they care about you and what you did.
- Even though they have similarities, living amends are different than making amends.
- Especially if the disease behaviors created deep fissures, or if they are used in place of more direct amends.
- Our supportive community fosters trust and encourages open communication, allowing clients to share their experiences and grow together.
- To act beyond our old patterns of behavior, many of us require guidance.
- Successfully approaching and accomplishing step nine requires the alcoholic in recovery to be willing to go to any lengths to make amends to those individuals whom they have harmed in the past.
Identifying 3 Types of Amends: Direct, Indirect, and Living
“In some ways, it gave structure to my faith. I think spiritual truths are spiritual truths. This program gave it to me very clearly. Now I recognize spiritual truth in my Catholic faith more clearly.” “Rather than focus on each incident of how I’ve hurt people, I now look deeper into what caused those incidents, my selfishness and fear,” Celeste says. While traditional Christianity has sometimes overemphasized the “pie in the sky” redemption after death, 12-Steppers experience God’s healing every day. “It’s ‘One day at a time,'” says John, quoting a popular AA saying.
- Demonstrating changed behavior and abstaining from repeating past mistakes are part of this commitment.
- In AA, sobriety is not an end in itself but leads quite naturally to service to others.
- By making all the amends, you show your dedication to a new way of life, especially in instances where someone has passed on or amends can not be made for safety or legal reasons.
- While this step involves a direct exchange with another person, its goal has everything to do with healing and addiction recovery on the part of the person making the amends.
- In AA, it is no longer an abstract teaching, it’s a lived experience.
- The beauty of this process for newcomers and those unsure of where to go next is that their recovery from alcoholism is outlined in twelve in-depth action steps.
The Key Components of an Effective AA Amends Script
Often beginners in 12-Step programs call their sponsors every day. Father Phil agrees that a healthy sobriety often enables former addicts living amends to incorporate the church into their spiritual path. And he sees 12-Step programs as spiritual communities that fit well with Catholicism.
It’s also important to take great care when making amends to someone who is in active addiction because our primary responsibility is to safeguard our own health and recovery from substance abuse. If making an amends means exposing ourselves to triggering environments, we ought to reconsider and discuss healthy alternatives with a sponsor or addiction counselor. At FHE Health, you’ll learn more about Step 9 and how to handle the worst of experiences.
What’s the Difference between Making Amends and Offering an Apology?
Family and Children’s Programs
Crafting Your Personalized AA Amends Script
